I am not a patient person. I don’t like waiting for people to return phone calls. I don’t like waiting for people who are late. I don’t like waiting to find out what’s going to happen next week on Grey’s Anatomy. I pretty much don’t like waiting for anything. This is but one of my many flaws as a mother, but it’s a big one. So this week I made a conscious effort to work on patience…here’s how it went.
Day 1: I’m trying to get some work done on the computer… why is James holding my boppy pillow and making all those loud noises? Seriously, the kid needs to put the boppy pillow down and be quiet! Patience…look again. Oh. He’s pretending to play the tuba! That’s actually pretty cute and he’s such a sweet kid. I guess I’ll let him keep playing. My need for silence isn’t nearly as great as his need to be a creative four year old with a mother who values his imagination. Patience has a way of changing perspective.
Day 2: Isn’t Kasia supposed to be lifting her head up when she is put on her tummy? She did it yesterday, but today she’s just laying there sucking on her fist. What if something is wrong? Maybe I should look in one of my baby books. Patience…relax. She’s fine. I wasted way too many moments of James’ early years rushing him through his milestones. I’m not going to make that mistake again. She’ll get there when she gets there, on her own time. For now, I’m just going to drink up her babyhood and enjoy it while I can.
Day 3: We’re trying to get out the door to 4K and James needs his sock turned right side out. He’s whining and it would be so easy to just snatch the sock away and do it for him. We’d be on time for school and he’d stop whining. Patience. Sit down and talk him through it. It’s more valuable to teach him how to fix his sock on his own than it is to take over, fix the sock, and leave him thinking he can’t do things that are hard. My patience will teach him his.
Day 4: I’ve asked James three times to come inside and he’s STILL making his way in. On the way in, he’s managed to take out three *more* toys and he still hasn’t cleaned up the two he had out to begin with. Patience... Oops, it’s too late. I’ve already snapped at him in a tone I didn’t mean to have. And I already regret it. There are so many times I’m not the mother I want to be. Patience… with myself, this time. The road is long. Tomorrow is another day. If only it would get here sooner. :)