Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Lessons of the Week

A few things I learned during adventures in parenting this week:

Lesson 1: If there is even a chance that I am going to doze while nursing on the couch in the living room, it would be wise to shut the main door to block the view through the screen door from the steps. Otherwise I may find myself awakening to the sound of the mailman depositing my mail, at which point I will look down to find my baby also dozing (therefore no longer nursing and no longer covering up those parts that need to be covered). As I watch the back of the mailman as he turns to head back down the steps, I will be left to wonder just how much of a peep show I’ve provided.

Lesson 2: When trying to leave the house with a baby and a four year old, I really need to remember to put on my shoes before picking up the baby. Otherwise, I’ll have to put the baby back down again, as I have not yet mastered the art of putting on my sneakers while holding a newborn. When I put down the baby to put on the shoes, the baby will cry. Then my four year old will try to be a good big brother by running to get the pacifier to make the baby stop crying. Along the way, he will get distracted by the cat in the hallway, run into a wall, and begin crying. I will, of course, need to pick up the (crying) baby to go give the (crying) four year old a hug. When everyone is calm, I will then proceed to gather everyone by the front door again to get ready to go outside. At which point I will realize that I once again neglected to put on my shoes before picking up the baby. So, I will put the baby down…

Lesson 3: When my four year old yells , “look mom, I can pee with no hands!” from the freshly cleaned bathroom, it’s really a much better decision to NOT look.

Lesson 4: When I am changing a diaper, if I hear a sound that even resembles passing gas, I need to move like the speed of light to cover the, er, diaper area with anything I have available (baby wipe, new diaper, my hand as a last resort). If I am not able to cover the area quickly enough, I must shield my face. Enough said.

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