Friday, June 4, 2010


I would like to be a perfect mom. I really, really would. It would be so nice. Life would be so simple. But it’s probably not all that realistic of a goal, as much as I wish otherwise. So rather than constantly trying to swim upstream, I’m starting to think that maybe I need to just accept that there are some things that I will simply *never* be good at. To help with this new goal, I thought I’d make a list of things that I am just not good at and probably never will be. Here’s what I’ve got so far. I am no good at…

* Tolerating the noise of the morning before my first cup of coffee
* Participating in unstructured free play for longer than 22 seconds
* Keeping track of my keys while managing to carry a baby and hold a 5-year-old’s hand in the parking lot
* Being a patient and loving mother in the middle of the night (and I define “patient and loving” very loosely. As in “not having the urge to smack anything or anyone when woken up from a sound sleep.”)
* Making any dinner that requires more than five ingredients or more than 10 minutes of preparation
* Keeping my cell phone out of water (washing machines, toilets, puddles)
* Getting the previous size clothes out of my children’s closets before they are in the next size
* Keeping the plants watered
* Letting my husband parent in his own way without parenting “advice” (a.k.a. orders) from me
* Finding perspective on long rainy days
* Getting the clean clothes from the laundry baskets into drawers before needing the laundry baskets for the next week’s laundry
* Keeping myself from being annoyed when I’m interrupted for the 12th time when trying to type a list of things that I’m not good at
* Forgiving myself for being annoyed when I am interrupted for the 12th when trying to type a list of things that I’m not good at

What says you?
What aspects of mothering do you find challenging?


  1. Oh, gosh. Your list is almost all-inclusive for me, too! I am also not good and elongated bed time "routines." I want to brush teeth, use the bathroom, read books, snuggle, tuck and leave, not to be called in again. That isn't happening with my 3-year old and I get so frustrated. Then I start to think about the fact that I have been at work all day, busy in the evening and the little girl probably just misses me. Then I start to feel guilty, so I go in when beckoned. Then, I realize that the girl has pinned me for guilt and is now manipulating the situation... it goes round and round...

  2. Oh goodness, I went through that same thing with James! Except he kept coming out of his room after being tucked in. I tend toward frustration at night, too, because I am SO looking forward to that down time...

    Solution number 1, worked for about a year(I think it was around 3 years old): Gave him a "bedtime pass" which he could use one time, anytime he wanted, to get out of his bed and come get whatever he wanted from me (extra hug, ask a question, glass of water, etc). He used it within 5 minutes almost EVERY night but then was done.

    Solution number 2, still working so far: Totally Love and Logic... "You can stay in your room and get your rest now, or you can get up a few more times tonight and you'll need some extra rest time in the morning and so you'll need to stay in bed when the rest of us are up. Totally up to you, bud". First time, he chose to stay up and be silly at night and I had to enforce staying in his room in the morning when the rest of us were up and watching cartoons (I am much more patient in the morning, so it was easier to enforce then)... since then he has chosen to go back to bed and stay there...

    Hope you find something that works! Let me know if you do, because I'm sure I'll go through it with Kasia at some point, too!!

  3. I totally loved the previous size clothes one and the laundry one! I can so relate. So I anticipate the next post to be the top 10 things you ARE good at? Don't sell yourself short. Striving for perfection is striving to fail! At least that is what I tell myself when I get down. I feel bad sometimes that my daughter's sweet voice gets on my nerves after a while and I just wish she would be quite for 10 minutes in a row (while awake). I said to her once "Just please stop talking, I can't handle anymore talking." Her Dad told me that was the meanest thing I have ever said. After she went to bed I made sure he knew different. HAHA Loved your list!

  4. Ha! I may have also, in the past, asked my 5 year old if he could just stop talking for 10 minutes...JUST 10 MINUTES! And then of course, when I was a bit more calm after the 10 minutes had passed, I immediately felt guilty because there are so many parents who wish their children could talk that much! (I'm a speech therapist, so my guilt trips always have to do with not being grateful for my healthy, talkative children...) Oy. Not sure which is worse...the talking or the guilt! :)

    I like your idea of the top 10 things I AM good at... I think every mom should do that and post it on their fridge! :)